I adapted Confessions of a Caffeine Addict into a poem for a submission under the topic of "Hobbies" for the American Society of Biochemistry and Microbiology. I actually have no idea what a poem is supposed to look like, and heck, that some avant garde shit man.
AND this is the uncut version, people. This is not the actual entry.
AND this is the uncut version, people. This is not the actual entry.
--
A hobby,
you say?
Why, yes!
Coffee.
Coffee? Coffee. Coffee!
A juxtaposition of letters so beautiful, so perfect.
Like a greek key.
It had to be Coffee, obviously.
What else was I supposed to fall in love with?
In times such as these,
when we are all trying to be super-human,
perfect and accomplished,
or to maybe just graduate,
Coffee is a lifeline.
It is the blood that runs in our veins.
A propagandist tool, a cultural icon
And a grad student’s best friend.
Coffee is always there, when no one else is.
When all the lights, including yours, have gone out.
It is a cruel mistress,
An impudent servant who knows it is much needed.
A disease and a cure,
A color and a culture; the identity and pride of entire nations.
Savior of the Earth.
It is a cruel mistress,
An impudent servant who knows it is much needed.
A disease and a cure,
A color and a culture; the identity and pride of entire nations.
Savior of the Earth.
For all of Tea's royal patronage,
Coffee’s disarming charm is what has all us masses rooting for it.
The reticent, subtle activist, making you oh-so-benevolent as you
drink that Fair Trade coffee,
from your local coffee shop,
as your struggle with that damn writer’s block.
Coffee is the illusionist emperor of a kingdom of over-achievers,
a Pope of a religion of caffeine addiction,
And I am here to spread its gospel.
I believe in Coffee.
It is my addiction and my lifestyle,
My midnight-oil burner, and my stress reliever,
And my social tool -- coffee is really why I still have friends.
Coffee is to me as a muse is to an artist,
What a co-factor is to an enzyme,
A part of my identity;
It completes me.
Coffee is my Mona Lisa,
whose cryptic charm I contemplate
and savor
with all my senses.
Just contemplating Coffee
in all its elegance
and fragrance
gives me calm and energy,
sets my brain is on fire and puts my body at ease.
If I sell my life away for something, it would be Coffee.
If I invest in anything before the world economy crashes, it would be Coffee.
If I ever write this thesis, it would be dedicated to Coffee.
So my fellow scientists,
If you ever find me lost,
With failed experiments and ill-fitting data,
wandering and helpless on the streets,
crying for wisdom of those long gone,
just hand me a delightful cappuccino before the world ends.
