International Space Station

ISS flew over Rutgers today, from 9:01 p.m. to 9:07 p.m.. I couldn't take a picture but this person certainly did. And many thanks to Gizem for finding this for me, and bringing a smile to my face!

Image courtesy: R Vandebergh

I wish I was there to see it as it happened, but alas, there is always next time. 

[A more detailed image is here.]

A Haiku for Me by Jenn-i-Fa

Aditi, My Love 
two roads intertwined as one 
forever and always 

-- JH

Inspired in Philly

Friends of mine are creating a website called Inspire Me Philly where they are trying to seek out the inspirations this city holds in the cracks of its pavements, its skyscrapers and fountains. They are doing this by asking those who've felt it. Felt the inspiration seep into their hearts from the pulse of this city.

This got me thinking about my own reasons for being so in love with Philadelphia. I mean, really, hopelessly, and madly in love. It is because this city has character. In my limited travels, only two cities have made it to my list of such cities. The other is San Francisco. It is like I have two loves, two hubs, on the two ends of this country.

One of the crucial things that give any city the significance it has are the people. People color their city and give it the character it has, leave their footprints behind for others to observe, followed and be inspired by. I was reminded of this fact, just on Thursday when I had come to Philadelphia for a dental appointment. I am estranged with my dear Philly right now and any chance I get to come back is taken. Thus, I may or may not have purposely planted all my necessities here. My friends, boyfriend, dentist, ob/gyn, concerts, races...and my treasured professors. It's like I have a satellite life here.

On Thursday, one of my favorite professors was in town to give one of his storytelling performances. His name is Philip Poczik and I am a fan of these stories. I've heard them I don't know how many times before. I have a copy of each of them too, autographed as well as electronic. I have a poster of one in my room, but all that is irrelevant. What I really want is for you to understand why I love them so much. I want to share what I value in stories, these, and in general. I know the words, but I need to hear them over and over again, to be reminded of the teachings the stories carry. The teachings in his stories for one, come from personal experience, and second, they are truly a part of what inspires me to lead my life the way I do. It is like, he has had those personal experiences, and he has synthesized the teachings and realizations from these experiences into stories for everyone to be inspired by.

It's not like better stories have not been written. Some of his stories aren't even complete. The fact that they are personal, and that I hear it from the person who bled them from his heart onto paper, is what makes them for me. That discourse is precious. I will appreciate your fiction more if it has grounds in your reality, because that is what I am curious about. I want to know if you have felt what I have felt, and what you have learned that I didn't.

So, on Thursday, I was reminded of how to love. How to be in any kind of relationship with another human being. And I was grateful, again, for the umpteenth time.

A brief introduction to Philip Poczik, created by Jai Rice.
Inspire Me Philly

Must Remember My Loves

An attempt to stuff this in my memory, and hopefully to-do list.

Photography
Rock Climbing
Ballet
Japanese
Writing

The Loop

Today, I was randomly thinking of a quote from the Road by Cormac McCarthy. "You remember what you want to forget, and you forget what you want to remember."

Now, your chain of thought is heavily dependent on where your mind has lately been. You agree, right? So emerging from a flood of studying biological systems and how efficient they are, I thought of this and wondered if it means that our memory storage and retrieval system is inefficient. Why this thought was significant enough for me to put it down here was this:

Suppose if you had a memory that was voluntary, aka, you had control over what you put in this storage system and what didn't make the books. You did this over a period of time. You'd forget things that you want to forget and remember what you want to remember. Think about that, and tell me, would that distort your reality at all?

You would literally be able to believe what you want to believe, because what you don't want to believe, doesn't exist. You have forgotten it. Crazy, huh?
So, this must mean that memories are imperfect to enable us to live a fuller life, more in touch with reality through realizations (you need to remember experiences to be able to realize something from them, I assume). But is that what memories really do?
Memories help you to hold on to things, whether it is love, or a grudge, or just a beautiful time in your life. Memories also mould action, some give it a fancy name of conditioned learning. And action is character. So memories mould character. Memories enable obsession and psychosis. Memories help you build preconceptions and prejudices. Yet, prejudice and preconceptions are limiting. So do memories really enable a fuller life? Thus this argument is circular. What is the purpose of memories? What was the purpose of evolution of memory in evolution of multicellular life?

Remember to remember that you remember. To what end?

Surreal 'n' Freal!

A spectacle that can be felt across continents must be incredible to experience. Can you imagine smelling the sulphur and walking in the falling ash that came from a mountain across another country, or even a continent?
I certainly can't imagine it, but I know this would be an experience worth living. Maybe it'll be a diffused, diluted glimpse into what Pompeii must've felt like.

Seems perverted almost, but another winner for Iceland in my diary.

[Icelandic volcanic ash suspends airlines across Europe.]

Knotted

"Hearing your laughter
smooths and flattens the wrinkles
of my ruffled life."

-Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

Other favorites:

"Sunlight finds a way
of always decorating
your eyes just for me."

"The smell of fresh rain
is blowing through your hair and
wrapping around me."

"The sound of your heart
is a tiny orchestra
playing just for me."

"I will remember
every detail of your face
for all of my life."

"When old age finds us
will all the cracks in your hands
match the cracks in mine?"

"All of my mornings
are such perfect mornings to
wake up to your eyes."

Fifty Reminders

Courtesy of Ben Jones, MIT.

1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
10. Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
11. Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
12. When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.
16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
18. Take risks.
19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
21. Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
23. It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
24. When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
25. Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
31. Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.
34. Ask for help. Often.
35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
39. Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
40. Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
44. Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
48. Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love. 

[The source blog entry is here.]

Being God

Random thought I scribbled in my diary towards the end of March: Only God can take the pain and responsibility of being God.

Of stomaching the blame, of shouldering the questions, of hearing the prayers without judgment.

This isn't by any means a religious thought (though admittedly, it does come across as something straight from the Bible) but it is why I believe in God's greatness. This is why I am spiritual. This is why I know I am a lucky human being, whose mistakes have been forgiven and whose sincere endeavors have been blessed. Someone up there has me in their good books, and I can only hope to deserve them.

How do I know this? Because people with similar circumstances and opportunities as myself have not experienced the same great things as I have. Clearly, this is not just about my abilities. A series of events and people have to line up perfectly in place for things to come out fruitful at the other end. Someone or something is making it all work for me. This could be random. Or not. It could very well be the universe conspiring to give me what I want, or what I need.

I choose to attribute the random positive and negative outcomes in my life to a higher entity, for better or worse. Without this meaning, my whole existence will collapse. I choose to believe without evidence, without pressure.

Yes, I do this with greed. I hope to be blessed with a balanced state of mind, and a peaceful inner self. I hope to be given the tools to achieve this. To be able to appreciate life and those that make it truly meaningful for me. To keep close everything that gives me ambition, inspiration and purpose. To be able to see the signs planted in my path and give significance to my life, by leaving behind good, positive memories. Maybe some useful traditions, and hopefully a culture of respect. A true legacy.

Unproductivity: Day 3

Today was...noteworthy. I don't know how else to put it. Doing cervical dislocations is not my thing. It never will be. But I will do them and I hate myself for it.

However, talking to an old friend after a long time, does help. It's almost like introspection.