Departure of Closeness

This year marked a birthday that came and went without a shiver. A birthday that in the past was very important to me. A person so dear. Oh dear. How things change.

This year came the final closure, the indifference, the final letdown. Even though it happened gradually over the year, I am still not sure how to feel.

Should I feel guilty,
ashamed,
bothered,
or in pain?
Or is it okay
to not be bothered,
ashamed,
or in pain?

I guess as years go by, I'll know in retrospect. I'll know what I should've done instead. Hopefully, it will be a good lesson, and not an embittering experience.

So, I will end this by just sharing a song that I came across because of a friend. Not very poetic, but very accurate. For all its eloquence, no one does blunt better than routine and/or colloquial English.

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset
I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast
I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything